That is the point of recording it. [There's a slight tinge of amusement in her tone.] It helps me, even when it's hard. But that's what works for me. You'll have to figure out what's helpful for you. I can't offer a guaranteed fix, only potential strategies.
( Clementine smirks. ) Yeah, guess if you didn't want to listen to it, you could just talk to anything and hope no one walks in on you talking to a lamp. ( She nods, swallows, folding her arms across her chest. ) I'll try anything to figure it out. I want strategies and tools. I can use those.
That much, I can give you. [She sounds vaguely amused.] If you want one of your own, I can get one out of the closet for you.
[It's hardly fancy, and it's not like it matters that much which recording device Clementine uses, but it's also not like Clementine knows what the options are. Might as well keep things simple.]
Yeah. I'd like that. ( No one ever talks about tools and strategies for dealing with shit in the apocalypse, because usually people don't have the time to. They escape their own feelings by constantly having to survive. That comes first. The only one who ever tried to talk to him about it was Luke, and he died shortly after. ) How'd you figure out what to do?
[She gets up, walking over to the closet, and pulls a duplicate recorder out.]
What to do to deal with trauma? [She shrugs.] Trial and error, mostly. I've also taken a few psych classes. They focused more on recognizing the signs than strategies for dealing with them, but that's the first step. I like knowing what's going on in my head.
[Pin it down into chemical imbalances and numbers until she can detach herself. That's her other coping method. Her feelings are just a bunch of chemicals. That means she can deal with them, right?
So you learn to recognize the signs and then you're able to at least aware of what's happening? Even if you had to learn what to do yourself.
( Clementine walks up to Georgia with a quiet expression as she listens. She figures there's no guidebook for it. There's nothing that can outline exactly how to handle it all, and mostly, it probably requires opening up about stuff she doesn't like to talk about.
But she also can't just keep it in her chest forever. It builds up. She's experienced it herself after all, which led to her freaking out on the network a bit. )
( Clementine reaches up to take the recorder from her. She reads the buttons on them since she's never really used one before. ) That makes sense. Thank you for opening up about what you do and suggesting it to me too.
( It was having no idea about what to do that drove her to drinking and losing herself in a lot of thoughts and words. Still she gets it's not easy to talk about this shit so she appreciates it. )
[Georgia just nods. Sharing this didn't feel like a huge deal, but maybe that's the clinical detachment she likes to sink into talking. Feelings don't have to be a big deal if you don't acknowledge them as such, right?]
How're you doing after your trip home, by the way? That was... something.
[Georgia's expression softens very slightly. Georgia wouldn't want to take care of a kid either, by herself or with Shaun or anyone else. And she's not a kid. Clementine shouldn't have to.
But she does. The world never asks what you want before it shoves new burdens on you. You get them and then you can either rise to the challenge or fail. There's no other option.]
It's okay not to want that. It's a lot of responsibility that in a better world, you wouldn't have. But I do know that you're strong and smart and when you do go back.... you'll do great. I have no doubt at all.
( Clementine lifts her head to look up at Georgia, and she even manages a smile. )
Thank you. I don't want it, but I know I'm gonna do whatever I can to take care of him. I just hope I don't... go back even if I get this place is temporary and everything. ( It's strange- terrible really. Back there, she feels like she ought to stay away from people. There's a comfort in the isolation despite the fact it means an infant has to rely on her wholly, but she doesn't trust anyone or anything. It's in Wonderland that Clementine's realized not everyone's gonna screw you over, realized how important it is to have help. )
...what about you? How are you since this place sent you back and like all the shit you went through? ( Cause that was a lot of shit. )
[As okay as can be expected, anyway. But she has Shaun and she has a way to publish her words and she enough Coke to satisfy even her. She might still start to panic in rooms with white walls, but she's getting better. Maybe not quickly, but she is. Someday she might even be okay. That'll probably be the day Wonderland sends her home again, but it might happen.]
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[It's hardly fancy, and it's not like it matters that much which recording device Clementine uses, but it's also not like Clementine knows what the options are. Might as well keep things simple.]
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What to do to deal with trauma? [She shrugs.] Trial and error, mostly. I've also taken a few psych classes. They focused more on recognizing the signs than strategies for dealing with them, but that's the first step. I like knowing what's going on in my head.
[Pin it down into chemical imbalances and numbers until she can detach herself. That's her other coping method. Her feelings are just a bunch of chemicals. That means she can deal with them, right?
Maybe someday it'll work.]
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( Clementine walks up to Georgia with a quiet expression as she listens. She figures there's no guidebook for it. There's nothing that can outline exactly how to handle it all, and mostly, it probably requires opening up about stuff she doesn't like to talk about.
But she also can't just keep it in her chest forever. It builds up. She's experienced it herself after all, which led to her freaking out on the network a bit. )
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( It was having no idea about what to do that drove her to drinking and losing herself in a lot of thoughts and words. Still she gets it's not easy to talk about this shit so she appreciates it. )
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How're you doing after your trip home, by the way? That was... something.
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( It seems like a recipe for disaster. It seems like she'll fail, and who else will she have to blame? No one.
No one but herself. )
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But she does. The world never asks what you want before it shoves new burdens on you. You get them and then you can either rise to the challenge or fail. There's no other option.]
It's okay not to want that. It's a lot of responsibility that in a better world, you wouldn't have. But I do know that you're strong and smart and when you do go back.... you'll do great. I have no doubt at all.
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Thank you. I don't want it, but I know I'm gonna do whatever I can to take care of him. I just hope I don't... go back even if I get this place is temporary and everything. ( It's strange- terrible really. Back there, she feels like she ought to stay away from people. There's a comfort in the isolation despite the fact it means an infant has to rely on her wholly, but she doesn't trust anyone or anything. It's in Wonderland that Clementine's realized not everyone's gonna screw you over, realized how important it is to have help. )
...what about you? How are you since this place sent you back and like all the shit you went through? ( Cause that was a lot of shit. )
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[As okay as can be expected, anyway. But she has Shaun and she has a way to publish her words and she enough Coke to satisfy even her. She might still start to panic in rooms with white walls, but she's getting better. Maybe not quickly, but she is. Someday she might even be okay. That'll probably be the day Wonderland sends her home again, but it might happen.]
Wonderland's a lot calmer than home ever is.